


A Critical Analysis of Long Term Romance

by nameless9999



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance, Seasons 1-5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 13:23:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7269985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nameless9999/pseuds/nameless9999
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look back at important moments between Jeff and Annie, and what was going on inside their heads and hearts during them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Critical Analysis of Long Term Romance

**Author's Note:**

> This work is based on a conversation with CeleryLapel regarding important developments in Jeff and Annie's relationship during seasons 1-5, leading to why Jeff is in such a bad place in Season 6. Other than the final section, every event is run through twice, once from the perspective of each character. These are based on my personal observations, and interpretation of events, and I tried to write what I believe could logically be going through their minds at that time. So thanks to CeleryLapel for listening to my insane rant!

Simmons quickly jerks back on the switch on his wheelchair, causing it to launch him into the air. Annie watches as he hurtles through the air, turns his head to his side and closes his eyes. She sees Jeff put his arms out, as Simmons falls into them, and he starts to buckle under the force of the landing, but ultimately remains standing, holding Simmons.

“He hates me, yet he caught me!” Simmons states as Jeff rears his head back in realization of what has happened. “Man is good!” he adds triumphantly.

Half of the audience begins to cheer. Annie's eyes open in shock, as she turns to the Judges, who seem to be note of what has just occurred. She turns back to Jeff and Simmons, still flustered.

“Dammit, I wanted to win this! We were so close!” she thinks. 

Suddenly, she has an idea. She needs to go off book. That's what Jeff had told her. Simmons went off book and played off raw emotion, and it worked. If she wants to win, she needs to do the same, and she knows exactly whose and what emotions she needs to embrace.

With determination, she strides towards Jeff, grabbing his face, turning it, and pulling him into a kiss. Jeff begins to reciprocate the kiss, and all she can think is, “God this is so sweet.” It's sweeter than she imagined when she thought about it yesterday in the study room. Sweeter than she ever imagined it would have been if Troy had done it.

Actually, sweet is a rather poor word of choice. If you have too much of something sweet, it gets boring and can make you sick. She's pretty sure she could never get bored or sick from this. She's beginning to lose her grip on reality. How long have they been kissing for? Has it been a second, a minute, an hour? She barely remembers what made her decide to kiss him, when all of a sudden, she feels his arms around her, and hears a thud, and a grunt, snapping her back to reality.

She remembers what is happening and pulls away from him. “He was horny, so he dropped him!” she proclaims. “Man is evil!”

\-----

Simmons is flying towards him. Jeff doesn't know why, but he does the only thing that makes sense in this situation. He puts his arms out and tries to catch him. The force Simmons crashing into him catches him by surprise, but he manages to stay standing, and keep him from hitting the floor.

“He hates me, yet he caught me!” Simmons exclaims, as Jeff rears his head back and sighs, realizing what he's done. He's played right into Simmons' plan, he let his school down, he let his friends down, and worst of all, he let Annie down. “Man is good!” Simmons adds in what feels like a twist of the knife to him.

The half of the crowd that is from City College starts cheering. Jeff finally opens his eyes and glances at the crowd realizing it's over. They've lost and it's his fault.

All of a sudden, something grabs his face and pulls him around. For a moment, he recognizes Annie's face and locks eyes with her, but she closes the distance and starts kissing him.

His mind starts racing. He can't be kissing Annie, that's why they left the study room yesterday. She's 18, and he's 35. She's a driven and passionate crusader, and he's a lazy, manipulative slacker. The kiss is wrong on so many levels.

So why does it feel so right?

As he starts to intertwine his tongue with hers, he forgets all of those reasons. His mind starts to drift, and he begins to wonder why this kiss is so good. He's had chemistry with tons of women, but kissing them was never like this. He starts wondering if maybe lips and tongues are come in matching sets, and he's finally found the other half of his.

Suddenly, just the kiss is not enough for him. He's holding on to something heavy. He's not sure what it is anymore, but whatever it is, it can't be more important than this. He drops the unknown burden on his arms and turns and embraces Annie, intensifying the kiss.

Suddenly, Annie pulls away. Jeff's mind, nay, his entire reality is hazy. Annie is saying something, he's not sure what, as his eyes flicker around, trying to put the scenery together and figure out where he is. He looks back down at her as she finishes talking. There's silence for a few seconds. The female judge says something excitedly. He hears cheering, but he isn't sure if it's real or just in his head. He still has no idea what is going on.

“Is that off book enough for ya?” Annie asks happily, which somehow kick starts his brain again.

“You have no idea...” he thinks.

 

*****

 

They stood in front of the entrance to the dance, discussing their personal and romantic issues.

“Umm... I'm glad you're staying.” Jeff says.

Annie smiles, and nods, letting a small laugh out. They both drop their arms and give each other a friendly hug. As they release, her eyes meet his and she suddenly had an urge she can't resist. She slowly leans in to kiss him. The look on his face seems to show some confusion, but he's not backing away. If anything he seems to be moving towards her very slowly.

When their faces are a couple of inches from each other, she finds her resolve and goes for it. Her lips meet his and there's that feeling again. Is this why she couldn't go with Vaughn to Delaware? Because no matter how much she enjoyed his company and attention, it never felt like it did with Jeff at the debate?

She pulls back from the kiss. She knows that inside that building are two women who declared their love for him, who are waiting for him to come back in and give them an answer. That one of them is one of her best friends, and she knows doing this behind her back is wrong. But none of that knowledge can override her passion.

She holds her gaze on him, pleading with her eyes for more, hoping he gets the message. He must, because this time, he's the one closing in, grabbing her waist, and pulling her into a kiss, just like at the debate. She puts her hands on his arms, then moves them to his back, as places he one on the back of her head, pulling her closer and deeper.

She's pretty sure she's in love with Jeff Winger, but after his reaction from hearing it twice tonight, she isn't going to tell him that and ruin this. She'll just be quiet, and let this go where it may.

\-----

“Umm... I'm glad you're staying.” Jeff says.

Annie smiles, and nods, letting a small laugh out. Jeff opens his arms, and she uncrosses hers and they close in for a friendly hug. They release each other, and he raises his head, lets out a relieved sigh and sees her smile, reassuring him.

He knows needs to go back to the dance and sort things out with Britta and Michelle. So why can't he move? And is Annie's face getting closer? He's not sure exactly what's going on, but it seems like there's some unknown cosmic force that's pulling him towards her, that he can't resist no matter how hard he fights. When his face is mere inches from hers, she closes the gap and places her lips on his.

The kiss is short, but when they break, his mind feels just as it did at the debate, but there's also some clarity. He realizes there was no cosmic force pulling him towards her before. The only thing pulling him in was himself. He sees her eyes, those beautiful, blue eyes, that he can never say no to. They're asking for more, and he finds it impossible to deny her request.

He closes in this time, reaching for her waist, and there they are again, those lips and tongue that seem to be a perfect match to his. He feels her hands on his arms, and then they move to his back trying to pull him closer. He puts his hand on her head and pulls her tighter, and the kiss intensifies.

Is this why he couldn't find a response for Slater's and Britta's confession? Because even though he had sex with both of those women, it never made him completely lose his mind like Annie had with just a kiss at the debate, and like it was threatening to do now? How despite having experienced Michelle and Britta in their entirety, he could walk away, yet the woman in front of him right now could make him do anything with only her eyes?

He wasn't sure what it meant, but it definitely meant he couldn't go back into that dance.

 

*****

 

“Listen, when you really hate someone the way you hate Annie Kim, or, when you feel the way I feel about you,” Jeff said as Annie's eyes widened and she cocked her head at the words, “the easy loophole through the creepiness and danger is to treat them like a child. Chip off the old block! You're the best kiddo! It's a crutch. It's a way for me to tell you how important you are from a distance. But now you're becoming this mature, self-possessed, intelligent young woman and I can't keep patting you on the head and talking down to you.”

Jeff wasn't sure if he was going to scare her away, but somehow, the truth was cathartic, and she wasn't running yet. He had seen her change over their time together, and he was happy to see this change. The more he saw, the easier it became to accept his feelings, feelings that were definitely far beyond platonic. When she was 18, despite how right it may have felt, he knew pursuing it was wrong. But she was 20 now. Yes, she was still quite a bit younger, bet definitely more mature, and if someday, maybe soon she wanted to see where this led, he was a bit more comfortable in exploring that option.

“But I like how close we are! I don't want to grow up if it means losing what we have.” Annie responded.

“Well tough, Annie. You have to grow up because the world needs more women like you.” Jeff stated. “Can't keep doing this forever, kiddo.” as he put his fingers on her chin, and rested his thumb just below her lips.”

“Can't we?” she pleaded as they stared into each others' eyes.

He thought about it for a few moments. “Can we keep doing this? Can I treat her like a child if it makes her feel better? If I really do love her, shouldn't I do what makes her happy? Wait... Love? Is that what this is? A grown man shouldn't, no, can't be in love with a child. If that's really what that this is then....

“Nope, I can't! No.. No...” Jeff said facing forward.

\-----

“Listen, when you really hate someone the way you hate Annie Kim, or, when you feel the way I feel about you...” said Jeff.

“Wait, the way you feel about me?” Annie thought, equal parts nervous and excited, feeling as if she was back in high school and a boy she liked had asked her on a date.

“The easy loophole through the creepiness and danger is to treat them like a child. Chip off the old block! You're the best kiddo! It's a crutch. It's a way for me to tell you how important you are from a distance. But now you're becoming this mature, self-possessed, intelligent young woman and I can't keep patting you on the head and talking down to you.” Jeff finished.

“But I like how close we are! I don't want to grow up if it means losing what we have.” Annie responded. What she said was true, but not completely true. She didn't want to lose Jeff as a friend, but hearing him admit that maybe he felt the same way about her as she did him, or at least partly, was a bit of relief. If Jeff seeing her as a woman meant that maybe they could finally be more than friends she was happy about that.

“Well tough, Annie. You have to grow up because the world needs more women like you.” Jeff stated. “Can't keep doing this forever, kiddo.” as he put his fingers on her chin, and rested his thumb just below her lips.”

“Can't we?” she pleaded as they stared into each others' eyes. 

“Can't we have the best of both worlds?” she wondered. “Can't I be kid, but you can still love me like a woman? Is that really so wrong? Yes... yes it is. They have a term for people like that, they're called pedophiles, and I'm not going to make him ever feel he could be something like that. And if I were to play along, what would that make me? I guess this does have to stop.

“Nope, that's gross. I feel gross.” she stated after coming to that realization, facing away from Jeff.

 

*****

 

How did this ski trip end up turning out like this? It was supposed to be a weekend with just her and Jeff relaxing and having fun. She didn't think anything was necessarily going to happen, but she had to admit she wasn't going to say no if the possibility arose. Okay, so maybe she did want something to happen, so she wore something she knew he liked, and chose a bra that accentuated her breasts a little more than normal, in the hope that he would notice. By the time they got to the hotel that the they were all staying at, the possibilities of what could happen this weekend had made her absolutely giddy. She nearly squealed with delight, when he found her pinning whatever that glowing thing was into her hair, and when the concierge called her Mrs Winger, she drifted completely into fantasy land.

“Well, I just went upstairs and saw your room. Saw the two robes, the two coffee cups, one with lipstick, one without. And I saw actual hair that looked a lot like mine on my side of the sink, so I have some questions.”

“Oh god...” Annie said nervously.

“He's going to tell me I'm a psycho.” she worried. “He's going say we shouldn't hang out together anymore, and that I need to get therapy. What if he tells everyone how crazy I am, and they kick me out of the group, or Abed and Troy kick me out of the apartment?”

“First one, is that actually my hair? And if so, did it fall out naturally? Because if it did, you need to tell me right now because I have to call science.”

Annie was still nervous, but at least relieved that he was still calm, and trying to be funny, and not blowing up at her like she probably deserved.

“Also, what the hell is going on?” Jeff asked, finally giving her a chance to explain.

“Alright, I may have been play acting that we were married, and then the staff thought you were cheating and I had to save face.” she said doing the best she could to avoid sounding as crazy as she thought she might be.

“Do I have to worry about this?” Jeff questioned.

“Oh God! Maybe he does think I'm crazy.” she thought.

“No, I was just daydreaming.” she said, trying to reassure him. “I've married you at least half a dozen times. And Troy. And Zac Efron. Mostly Zac Efron.” she added laughing slightly.

“Does Zac get a drink thrown in his face?” he asked looking at her after he turned to look at him, as they both laughed

“I don't know, I guess I was a little hurt that you ditched me. I mean we are friends right?” she asked, not trying to push it any further after the day's events. “Would it have been that painful to hang out together?”

“Well, I can tell you one thing your fantasy got wrong.” he answered. “If we were married, you wouldn't find me flirting with another woman in a hotel bar.”

The sentiment alone practically made Annie's heart melt. “Did he just say IF WE were married? The guy who said 'nut up and die alone?' Stop reading into it Edison! Just let it go, you don't need to go back to being crazy again.”

“But there are a lot of that you think are fun that I wouldn't want to do because I'm...” Jeff continued.

“Older?” Annie suggested, thinking maybe her behavior had made him realize that she really was too young.

“Not lame” he finished. She felt relieved at how well he was taking this whole thing, since it could have gone so much worse. “Do you want to hang out now?” She looked back at him and smiled hopefully. “Can I buy you a drink?” Her smile became even more genuine. “What do you want?”

She grinned even wider and looked forward, “An appletini.” she answered holding back her excitement as much as possible.

“Oh God, don't make me order that!” he protested. “Please?” he begged.

“Please?” she returned with a hint of seductiveness in her voice.

Jeff sat and grimaced for a second before getting up to go get her drink.

Annie bounced in her seat, and held back a giggle. “Appletini...” she repeated to herself giddily. She didn't really give a damn about the Appletini. She was 21 and could order anything she wanted. She was ecstatic because Jeff Winger was buying her, and just her a drink. He could have come back with raw sewage in that glass, and it probably wouldn't have hurt her mood.

\-----

Jeff wasn't quite sure what was going on, but after seeing what Annie had done with the hotel room, and getting a drink thrown in his face after some odd confrontation about their marriage, he was starting to get an idea.

Abed and Troy had said they were going away for some Inspector Spacetime convention, and Britta was tagging along, now that she and Troy were together. That didn't really matter to him, but when Abed mentioned that it was at a ski resort, he decided a trip was in order. He knew Annie liked to ski, and probably didn't want to be cooped up all alone in their apartment all weekend, so he asked her. It didn't really occur until just before the trip that he hadn't asked Shirley or Pierce. Okay, well he probably wouldn't have asked Pierce anyway. He wasn't intentionally trying to make this anything more than just a ski trip, but Annie was an adult now, and if she made a move, well, he probably wasn't going to turn it down.

After he heard that there had been an avalanche, and the slopes were closed, he decided to just call an end to the trip and head home with Annie. It's not that the idea of spending a weekend in a hotel with her wasn't appealing, but how the hell could he justify it without making it seem like he was hoping for something to happen between them. She'd never believe him if he said he wanted to stay for the convention, so he figured he'd just have to cut his losses.

However, now something was clearly going on with Annie, and he needed to know what.

Well, I just went upstairs and saw your room. Saw the two robes, the two coffee cups, one with lipstick, one without. And I saw actual hair that looked a lot like mine on my side of the sink, so I have some questions.”

“Oh god...” Annie said nervously.

“First one, is that actually my hair? And if so, did it fall out naturally? Because if it did, you need to tell me right now because I have to call science.” He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but he did want to know what was going on so he decided to break the tension with some humor. “Also, what the hell is going on?”

“Alright, I may have been play acting that we were married, and then the staff thought you were cheating and I had to save face.” Annie explained.

“Do I have to worry about this?” Jeff asked.

“Did I mislead her? I know she's not very experienced with relationships. Did I lead her to believe this was some romantic getaway?” Jeff wondered. “Did she somehow think that we're dating or something?” Jeff felt slightly guilty knowing that while that wasn't his intention, he hadn't been opposed if this trip had become that.

“No, I was just daydreaming. I've married you at least half a dozen times. And Troy. And Zac Efron. Mostly Zac Efron.” she said with a laugh.

“Does Zac get a drink thrown in his face?” he asked turning to make eye contact as they both laughed.

“I don't know, I guess I was a little hurt that you ditched me. I mean we are friends right? Would it have been that painful to hang out together?” she asked him.

Jeff finally realized that maybe he wasn't totally innocent in this situation.

“Well, I can tell you one thing your fantasy got wrong.” he answered. “If we were married, you wouldn't find me flirting with another woman in a hotel bar.”

“Wait, did I really just say that?” he thought to himself. “If WE were married?” He thought about it for a second. Being married to Annie Edison wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. And even if they weren't married, if they were a couple, he wouldn't be hitting on another woman. Actually, aside from today, he'd been doing it less than he used to. Was it because of her? Maybe they weren't friends. Maybe they were something more than that.

“But there are a lot of that you think are fun that I wouldn't want to do because I'm...” Jeff started to say.

“Older?” Annie asked sounding slightly dejected.

“Not lame.” he concluded jokingly. He hadn't been thinking about the age gap much anymore, not since their discussion after the Model UN meltdown. She was a grown woman now, and could make her own choices, whatever they were. And if someday, one of those choices was him, he'd accept it, but she hadn't openly said that.

“Do you want to hang out now?” He saw her expression raise. “Can I buy you a drink?” Now she was smiling. “What do you want?”

She looked forward and he saw her smile turn to a grin, “An appletini...” she said.

“Oh God, don't make me order that!” he protested. “Please?” Apparently, she was going to make him suffer for ditching her.

“Please?” she asked in a way, that made him fully aware he had lost this argument.

Jeff got up and approached the bar. As the bartender noticed him, he sighed, “Can I get a single malt scotch neat and...” he shook his head “an appletini?” he sighed out.

The bartender chuckled and looked over to where he'd been sitting. “That's your wife over there?” Jeff looked over at Annie. “She's very beautiful.”

“No, no, she...” Jeff started to say, but for some reason, he couldn't finish his sentence. She was beautiful. In fact, Jeff had never seen anyone more beautiful in his entire life. And hadn't he admitted just a few minutes ago, that there was an “if”? Now he had an answer to his earlier thought. They definitely were something more than friends, at least he hoped they were. And maybe he was just lame enough to do a little play acting himself. “Yeah, she is.” answering the affirmative to both parts of the question, with both hope and regret in his voice.

“Hey, did anyone ever tell you you look like Thoraxis?” the bartender asked.

“Well I guess I'm play acting now too.” Jeff thought.

“Piss off!” he replied in his best phony British accent.

 

*****

 

She stared at the ceiling, making popping motions with her lips, while Borchert pleaded with the computer he so fondly referred to as Raquel. She thought about what Jeff had explained to Borchert before they had been locked in there.

“Sir, Raquel has taken the best years of your life and a dozen of your not so good. If she hasn't given anything back it might be time to move on!”

It hit her in a way she hadn't expected. Had she been making the same mistake for the past five years, that Russell Borchert had been making for for decades? College was supposed to be the best time of your life, and she had spent hers pining, and hoping that Jeff would come around. But here they were, almost five years later, and they weren't any closer than when they started.

He said he felt a certain way about her during the Model UN, so why did he never ask her out? And then there was the ski trip. She had thought that after they decided to finally “hang out”, after the drinks, and even after they decided to make use of their reserved hotel room and stay over, maybe something would finally happen, even if it was just another kiss. She had been optimistic at the time, and after seeing him with his shirt off, she was certainly more than willing that night. But nothing ever came of it, he had just politely excuse himself to his bedroom and closed the door, and the next morning, they drove home, uneventfully.

Did he never get over the age difference? Did he see it as even more awkward now that he was forty? He had taken his birthday pretty hard, culminating with the emergency at the hospital from the combination of scotch and over-dosing on those anti-aging pills.

And what was going on with him and Britta? They were getting married? She thought that was done with. She knew they were ridiculous, and Abed seemed to think the same, but somehow, he could just propose to Britta, but after everything she thought she saw between Jeff and herself, he wouldn't even ask her on a date.

Maybe Jeff had taken the best years of her life, and wasn't giving anything back. She had fun when they were together, but how long could she go on hoping for more, and not getting anything? Maybe he was right all those years ago, and she had been reading into something that wasn't there. Maybe there was no “Annie of it all.” Maybe he was just being sweet, and charming because that's who he was, and she had fallen hook, line and sinker.

She knew she was in love with Jeff Winger, but apparently, he didn't love her back

“We have to respect each other enough to let each other want what we want, no matter how transparently self-destructive or empty our desires may be.” she had said.

It had been part confession of love, part concession that maybe nothing ever was going to happen between them. She respected, no, she loved Jeff, so if he wanted to be with Britta, who was she to stop him. She had no right to deny him his love, even if she didn't really believe it, for the sake of her own. She needed to stop being self-destructive, and start working towards a future she could actually attain.

If they ever got out of this lab, that's what she was going to do. She was going to focus on herself, and worry about her future, the things she could control. And she was going to start by stepping away from Jeff Winger.

 

*****

 

He sat at the desk in his office after the celebration had ended. Almost everyone had gone home, but he hadn't wanted to leave yet. They had worked so hard to save Greendale, that it felt right being there, like he had earned it.

And yet, something was very off. Now that the festivities and distractions were done, he couldn't put it out of his mind. He felt sick to his stomach. There was some sort of queasiness that had started earlier in the day, and wasn't going away. It had started in Borchert's lab when Annie said....

Annie....

“We have to respect each other enough to let each other want what we want, no matter how transparently self-destructive or empty our desires may be.”  
It was like she had bypassed his ears and had been speaking directly to his heart. What the hell had he been doing? He didn't love Britta. Well, maybe he loved her like a best friend, or a sister, but not in a way that would make him ever want to marry her. They already tried this, and it was a disaster.

He was doing this because, if Greendale went away, everybody else had somewhere to go. Abed had his film degree, Shirley proved she could run her own business, Hickey had been looking for an excuse to get out, Troy had already gone, and Annie, well she could do anything. It was he and Britta that were going to be stuck, and he just didn't want to be stuck alone.

And she had made him realize that. He knew what he wanted. He wanted Annie. He'd wanted her for years. It was wrong at first because she was so young, but like he had said years ago, she had become a beautiful (well, she had always been beautiful), amazing, self-possessed woman.

So how come he never did anything about it? Well, there was that ski trip they took, where admittedly, he had hoped something would happen, but he screwed it up. After the slopes were closed, he decided to give up and call it a weekend, but she wanted to stay. He did too, so why didn't he just agree? Instead he decided to be a jerk about it, and then hit on that woman in the bar. Sure she was pretty, but she was no Annie Edison. And she was only interested because she thought he was some actor on Inspector Spacetime, and he played along.

He had deserved to get those drinks thrown in his face, maybe not for the reasons he did, but because he ditched the most important woman in his life, just like she said he did. He tried to make it up to her, and they even stayed over, but after what he had done, he didn't feel right saying anything, so he just went to bed, and they left the next morning.

She made him want to be a better person. When he thought about her, he felt he could do anything. And maybe he could. When he put on that helmet, and looked at her, it powered up Raquel and the lab. He knew it would work before he did it. Borchert told him it was impossible, and yet, he put that helmet on, and it worked. For him, she made the impossible possible.

He loved her with all of his heart, all of his soul, two things that he believed he had thrown away long ago, until he met her. And maybe he had. Maybe Annie had so much of those things, that she had given him new ones. Maybe that's why the thought of losing her scared him so much.

The idea that he knew exactly what was troubling him now, made him feel a bit better.

And yet it made him feel so much worse.

She made the impossible possible. She opened that door. His “immeasurable love” for her could now be measured. There was no denying it anymore, no more lying, no more “platonic shoulder holding.” And no matter how much better she made him become, he was always going to be so far behind her. He was stuck here, and she could go off and do anything, and if she decided she loved him, he would be taking all that away from her.

“I love her so much, and I want to see her happy...” he thought.

“And that's why she can never be with you....” answered a voice in his head.

The two thoughts repeated endlessly in his mind, getting louder, to the point where it was nearly deafening.

So he reached behind him and grabbed a bottle of scotch and a tumbler, and poured himself a drink. And with each drink, the voices in his head got a little easier to drown out.


End file.
